The committee set up by the government to come up with solutions to the degrading standard of students entering the IITs has come up with a new solution. They say that there new proposition is the most perfect and it is impervious to all the salvo from the critics. The plan is NO CHETAN BHAGAT FOR IITians.
In the recent months it was believed that the committee was after the various coaching centres that have cropped up around the nation. When questioned about this a prominent member of the committee had this to say, “Actually, many of us had already got their children enrolled in various coaching institutes and paid the fee in full and seeing how high the fee is we decided that it won’t have been financially good for us to now curb them after all we have already paid them our hard earned money.”
But the question that now arises was how they arrived at youth icon Chetan Bhagat’s name. The same member had this in his defence, “Actually, Chetan is a very modern guy. He writes very well, but then every student in every IIT now thinks that he/she can be where Chetan is now and so they start writing poems and stories and all other things on blogs instead of making notes and solving assignments. You see it is a very grave problem. One of the student even sent me his blog’s link in his email. God they are writing blog’s address as their signature.”
To this another member of the committee and our most reliable source said this, “The other guy is right. But he is hiding one thing from you. He actually read a poem called YE ZAROORI TO NHI from www.somyanshu.com , blog maintained by a student from IIT Ropar and he won the best prize in the annual KAVI SAMMELAN OF IIT PROFESSORS.Can you believe it, that’s called talent. And about picking Chetan Bhagat’s name, actually he is a bit unlucky. We just asked each of us to write the first English alphabet that came to our mind and after that we jumbled them around. After ten such attempts we finally were able to come up with Chetan’s name.”
Chetan Bhagat when contacted had this to say, “First of all, I would like to thank them for they have now finally stopped their process to stop the coaching institutes. I was actually starting to get worried about how my children would one day be able to get into an IIT without proper coaching. It is so tough out there. And now about my proposed BANISHMENT .They can do whatever they want to, it is their will, they can cut my photos from the newspapers that are supplied to the IITs, they can block my websites, blogs inside the campus and they can certainly stop selling my books around the campuses. It is their wish, it is their (voice raging) opinion but they won’t be able to stop the storm that is Chetan Bhagat (pitch getting even higher), stop the revolution that I am about to bring for I am not just a writer (now it is nothing less than a cacophony) I am the face of a nat..(And thankfully a network connection error occurred).
When students from the IITs were asked, they had different reactions to offer. A guy had this to say, “If I can spend four years of my life without a girl, than I can certainly live without Chetan Bhagat.” Another one suggested this, “They should offer a girlfriend to every 9 pointer. That way everyone would study and try be a 9 pointer and thus the standard would itself be raised. Also, this way a single girl would not have to be the virtual or online girlfriend of 100s of guys.” Someone said this, “They blocked alcohol, but we still drink it and so we will also read about Chetan. Jai Chetan.”
So all in all, the IITs have been in NEWS again and this time around it seems quite interesting. Only time would be able to tell whether the genius and ingenuity of the professors prove detrimental to many budding Chetans or not. But for now, this is your very own EDUCATED GAWAAR SOMYANSHU ARORA signing off.